Tag: relationship with teen

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Wisdom for Younger Self

With my 40th high school reunion looming ahead, (40?! Really?! How did that happen?!), another layer of my teenage angst is resurfacing for processing. (Really? Again? I thought I dealt with you already!)

A 40th reunion sounded old when I was 18. But, I don’t feel as old as a 40th reunion sounded then. I am experiencing PMZ— Post Menopausal Zest. I’m just getting started! We baby boomer women are the healthiest, wealthiest women the world has ever known. So let’s Rock It! Who’s in?!

To honor my 40th high school reunion, I am writing a letter to my 18-year-old self with some wisdom I have gleaned over the years. Maybe this  resonates with your inner teenager. Maybe you have some wisdom to add.

Dear Teenage Self,

You turned out OK. There’s still the money, relationship, and health stuff to deal with, but that’s the stuff of life. You have the skills you need to manage life. You are wiser than you know and not as wise as you think.

In case you’re feeling a little anxious about whether you really do have the necessary skills to manage your life, please let me share a few insights that I have learned so far on this journey called life.

  • Pay attention to your wise inner voice. Call it whatever you like — Intuition, Soul’s wisdom, God tapping you on the shoulder. The still, quiet voice under the yapping voice of ego-mind will guide you when life gets stormy.
  • Balance the feminine and masculine energy within yourself first before trying to find that balance through a romantic relationship. Find a balance of receiving and giving, listening and expressing, resting and taking action. Sometimes it’s fun to get a little off-balance, but don’t create drama. Just get back in balance.
  • You are good enough. You always have been good enough. You always will be good enough. The ego on the outside makes mistakes and misses the mark. That’s OK. You fell down learning to walk and you will fall down learning to navigate life. Just pick yourself up, forgive yourself and others, then, move on.
  • Always remember, at the core of your being you are innately, infinitely good and worthy of love. Divinity — call it God, Spirit, Divine Spark — is inherent in every cell of your body. You are composed of atoms infused with divine substance. Your body is a holy temple of spirit.
  • You are a wave in the ocean of God. Don’t confuse the wave with the entire ocean.
  • Embrace your uniqueness. It’s OK to be different. Everyone in your class is unique and has their own gifts and talents. Explore and master your unique gifts and talents. You are here to share them with the world.
  • Don’t drink too much alcohol or smoke weed. It makes you look and act stupid.
  • Life is not all about you. Bless somebody’s life today.
  • Life is a paradox. It IS all about you. Set your inner compass to your North Star. What do you want to create? What kind of world do you want to live in? What are you contributing to the world? If you get off track from your North Star, self correct and get back on track with your divine purpose — the reason you came to this life.

That’s it. That’s enough to get started.

Tap into your inner wisdom. You are wiser than you know.

Oh, and, call your parents. They love you and miss you. You never know when you’ll have to borrow a car.

Peace out!

Your Older, Wiser Self

 

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Five Simple Strategies to Subdue Stress

 

Chronic stress contributes to headaches, inflammation, depression, heart attack, diabetes and stroke.

 

Five Simple Strategies to Subdue Stress

  • Manage stress before stress manages you
  • Add a vitally important and often overlooked tool to your personal and professional toolkit
  • Learn proven stress management tools from a trained professional with 25 years of experience

Join Leah Skurdal, author of
Seeking Serenity: How to Find Your Inner Calm & Joy

Thursday, May 10, 6:30-7:30pm

At The Wellness Circle
7094 Lake Dr. Lino Lakes, MN 55014

Limited Seating Available.  Stress busting snacks.

Call to confirm your reservation now!  651-472-3995

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BIG LOVE

What the world needs now is BIG LOVE! Bigger than fear. Bigger than self-doubt. Bigger than your excuses. Not the fluffy Bunny Peep love of Hallmark cards or the casual, “love you” greeting. What we need now is deep, profound I-will-do-what-it-takes love. I know what that kind of profound love feels like. So do Marlene and Bill.

Marlene and Bill, a retired couple in their 80s, live in the land of ice and snow in Northern Minnesota. When Bill was diagnosed with prostate cancer, doctors prescribed 39 radiation treatments – which required driving an hour to the town of Brainerd, five days a week, from Thanksgiving through the New Year. Aside from the courage it takes to survive 39 radiation treatments, (no small feat) getting to the appointments during a Minnesota winter took a different kind of grit, courage and profound love.

The winter of 2014 Up North, as we Minnesotans say, included record snowfalls and thirty degree below zero temperatures day after day. Marlene took the wheel. “You’re not dying on my watch!” she told Bill. Which means: Die if you must because it is your time to go. But you are NOT dying because I did not do MY 100%.

Marlene drove Bill to and from the hospital, two hours a day, leaving the house by 7am, five days a week through harsh winter driving conditions. Some people commute an hour to work but not usually at Marlene’s age of 82 years old.

Marlene drove 4500 miles that winter. Half of the time, the roads were not plowed. Marlene would position her four-wheel drive SUV behind an 18-wheeler and plow on through the snow drifts covering the road. On some days, it was only Marlene, Bill and the truckers who were committed enough to venture the journey to Brainerd.

One day, as they left home on a snowy day in sub-zero temperatures, Marlene and Bill said to each other, “we have nothing to complain about. We’ve had a good life.”

They drove in silence. Marlene prayed the rosary for an hour straight twice a day – which she credits as the reason they arrived safely every day. After the 39 treatments ended, Bill’s cancer went into remission. Spring finally arrived and Bill went back to gardening and feeding the wildlife.

That’s what it took: grit, Minnesota heartiness born of determination, prayer, and BIG LOVE. That’s what 50+ years of marriage will do for you.

We could use some of that BIG LOVE these days. The BIG LOVE required to teach kids and adults compassionate communication skills so they learn to get along with each other. The BIG LOVE required to find or create an educational system where your kid can thrive. The BIG LOVE required to build a loving home environment where each of the family members feels loved and appreciated for their unique talents.

In my work, Intentional Energy Healing, I play all out for my clients. We set an energetic intention to create or to heal something in their life. One client got her estranged daughter back in her life. Current client intentions include completing a marathon, healing family relationships, and experiencing more daily joy.

What are you committed to in your life? For what are you willing to DO WHAT IT TAKES?

Post comments below. Message me if you would like support to create a life you love.

 

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Up-level Your Relationships

Join Master Healer Leah Skurdal in transforming your old stuck emotional patterns, unhealed wounds ….And those pesky, past experiences …. To open your heart and build the healthy loving relationships you are meant to have in this lifetime.

Experience Leah Skurdal’s powerful visualization technique that connects you with your inner healer and allows Divine Love to release outdated thoughts and emotions that no longer serve your highest good.

Learn why transforming emotional wounds frees you to experience more loving, joyful relationships and live a more purposeful life.

When you align body, emotions, mind and spirit you show up differently in the world …. and for the world.

Take the next step in living your life on purpose ….. join Spiritual Pilates: Aligning Body, Emotions, Mind and Spirit, for a transformational ten-week, online program beginning January 17.

Contact Leah for details. Leah.skurdal@gmail.com

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New Year – New and Improved Relationships

A major stressor I see with my clients is managing the significant relationships in their lives – with spouse/partner, kids, parents, siblings, supervisors, co-workers, or customers.

The teenage kid slams the door as a gesture of power. The spouse/partner criticizes the dinner, car parking job, or the way the holiday lights were hung. The co-worker makes snarky comments. Siblings do not share in caregiving needs for the aging parent. No one in the house helps clean the dishes. And my client’s neck and shoulder muscles tighten trying to manage all the details of life.

Sound like anyone you know? Lol

I can help! Managing your significant relationships starts with managing yourself. When you set aside time for just you to regroup, you have more energy to handle the stuff of life. When you set aside time to listen to your own wisdom over the roar of daily living, you can hear what you need to do to get your own needs met.

What does the flight attendant say in case of a plane malfunction? “Put your own oxygen mask on first!” You’re no good to anyone else if you can’t breathe. When your resources are depleted and you are running on empty, you have less to give others. When you have replenished your reservoir, you have more energy to set boundaries for yourself. You have more energy to share your love with the significant people in your life. Because you do really love them and want the best for them as well as for yourself. You just don’t want to feel depleted all the time, right?

Learning the skills to listen to your own wisdom so you can know what your boundaries are takes practice. Developing a skill-set of ways to respond when someone pushes your buttons requires perseverance. But, you do have the mindset and the perseverance to learn and practice new skills long enough to get them in your muscle memory so they become second nature.

My 10-week online program, Spiritual Pilates, will give you the skills you need to respond from a higher part of your being when you are under stress. Spiritual Pilates will also provide the opportunity to practice the skills in daily living so you can integrate them into spiritual muscle memory.  By participating in the Spiritual Pilates program, you get to reset your default from stress  to inner calm and joy.

Plus, here’s the special deal for your significant relationship:

For the program beginning January 17, 2017 you can include another person for the same cost.

So you and your spouse/partner, kid, sibling or friend can

  • get on the same page
  • share skills
  • remind each other of the skills to use when you forget
  • have an accountability partner
  • heal emotional wounds
  • raise the quality of your relationship.

Disclaimer: This is not therapy or counseling.

However, Spiritual Pilates can be a great resource and toolkit to up-level your significant relationships – starting with your relationship with yourself.

Call or text me for the details. 651-472-3995.

What are your significant relationship challenges? Communication? Sharing chores? Feeling appreciated? Add your comments below.

Happy Fresh Start to the New Year!

Leah

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Communicating With Love

Raising teenagers today is not a job for wimps. Your own unresolved teenage angst gets triggered by their stuff. You can easily end up miscommunicating if you’re not mindfully present with your teen.

My client’s intention, when checking in with her teenager, was to listen. However, what came out of her mouth sounded like criticism. She chose to take a time out after the resultant angry outburst before adding fuel to the fire but felt guilty about miscommunicating again.

Happily, I had already coached her on choosing her response wisely. She took a few minutes to center herself with some meditative breathing and BodySoul movement which helped her align body, emotions, mind and Spirit. She listened to her heart about what had made her push the criticism button. An awareness surfaced of an unresolved feeling about her own mother. As she opened her heart to heal the wound, the next insight gave her peace, comfort and understanding about her misinterpretation of the situation with her mother.

Resolving her feelings gave her confidence to re-approach her teenager with a loving and open heart. She remained emotionally present for her daughter which allowed each to communicate some hard-to-hear messages. They both listened respectfully to the other’s point of view. This exchange kept the door open for further communication.

My client was grateful for my coaching, and grateful that she had centered herself and stayed present while communicating with her teenager. When you align body, emotions, mind and Spirit, you show up differently in the world – and for the world.

If you are struggling to communicate with your teenager or if you have challenges finding your calm center when you get off track, I can help.  Text me to set up a time for a free chat. 651-472-3995  I would love to hear how your journey is going and how I can be of service.